Saturday, 26 April 2008

On the Buses
OK, this blog was going to be about Ken and Boris. Then I figured that that's what everyone else is talking about, so I thought I'd just talk about buses. This week I have had a the opportunity to experience an unusual bus ride. I decided to skip work on Wednesday and accompany my sons class on a day trip to the Natural History Museum. Now, it didn't really occur to me how we would get there, but when I heard it was on a 345 it did amuse me. If you have ever seen one 4 year old climb stairs you'll know how long it takes. We had about 17 of them! This, I thought, will test the patience of any driver. When we arrived in South Kensignton the driver went on a detour to the stop next to the museum, just for us! It made me feel all emotional, it made up for the grumpy man who got on the bus, looked around and said 'children should give up their seats for adults'. 'Oh I'm sorry sir, which one of the 17 4 year olds do you want to make stand?'. Anyway so now I'm on a bus ramble. I decided to write this when I heard a funny story last night. A pensioner with a freedom pass went from London to Scotland on local buses. Genius, it took him three days and it didn't cost him a penny. I rather hope he stayed with friends and family along the way, or it would rather defeat the point! I used to dislike buses and avoided them where possible. When I was a child I once saw a punk running for a bus in the Kings Road, his legs were chained together, so obviously he missed it. I don't know why that stuck in my memory. Thinking back on it, it does seem a rather odd thing for someone who has chosen to reject social norms to do, I can imagine him going home for a cup of tea. Probably lives in the suburbs now with 2.4 kids. Anyway, I'm getting off the point and that is not the reason I disliked buses! Back to buses, I used to avoid them, of course it helped that I spent 3 years in rural Florida, enough said. When I was forced to use them in Cambridge it was a-2 buses a day no wheelchair access nightmare-and easier to walk the 10 mile round trip along the muddy riverbank! Then there was Rio...the buses are mobile ovens, they are so far off the ground you have to hike onto them, before you have a chance to find a seat the driver takes off at 100 miles an hour while dodging in and out of traffic. Needless to say I found alternative modes of transport! Then I came to London and everything had changed. They are a joy, they are cheap, reliable and quick. Believe me this was not the case when I left London in 1995. Now if I was a politician, my idea of a nightmare, but anyway, if I was a politician and running against Ken I would use Boris's tactic. That is...find flaws in Ken's greatest success, the buses. Ken is great, I love him, but apart from that he has been able to claw back some of what was lost during the London of the Thatcher years. Anyway, like I said my experience with buses this week got me thinking. Why get rid of the bendy bus? So I went on a hunt for Boris's reasons. It seems that, surprise surprise, like other London traffic they are a danger to cyclists. Does Borris suggest spending £110 million on things like sensors for the bendies?....no no no that money will be better spent on bringing back the route master, clearly a much more cyclist friendly alternative! What is he going to do with London's bendies?...perhaps they could be donated to Amsterdam, where they are a success, note the irony! No? then perhaps he could use them to house those that are unable to get either council housing or on the property ladder. Surely Boris is not thinking of dumping them? Every school child knows you have to reduce, re-use and recycle. I can't help thinking, why was the route master phased out in the first place? Might it perhaps have something to do with the fact that it was designed in the days when anyone using Perambulators and Wheelchairs were social outcasts, never to venture more than 1 mile from home? Boris of course has a solution to this problem, a new generation of route master that is wheelchair and pushchair friendly. Hmmm...er....correct me if I'm wrong but um...isn't that what the red double decker of 2008 actually is?!! So there you have it, such pressing global concerns and Boris wants to see route masters all over London. So, as it happens, does my 4 year old son. Only luckily he has no political clout!